20 May 2018

Satsang May 20, 2018


My path is all about love and no longer about truth, because truth dissolves in self-realization, where the universe becomes open and flowing. Intense love is required for rapid self-realization.  


19 May 2018


SUNDAY SATSANG, May 20, 11 AM CALIFORNIA TIME

SUBJECT MATTER: Giving Shaktipat by means of words, tone, cadence, and meaning, as well as modulating my energy field so that attendees can feel  Shakti, from love, to bliss, to stillness, to Self.

Your “job” is to be as quiet, settled, and receptive to the energies as possible. No drinking, eating, or wandering around during Satsang. It can disturb others. This is a holy occasion; you are in our church.

The talk starts at 11 am, but please come at 10:45 and sit with me during chanting. The chanting chosen should fully accepted and joined with. It quiets the mind and makes experiencing Shakti easier and more powerfully.


Don't join now.
Come At 10:45 am Sunday and sit with me.

If you find Satsang valuable and are so moved, please consider donating to support my work of feeding hundreds of homeless cats in Los Angeles, and also to support my teaching. I do not charge for anything; Satsang; personal direction by email or skype, or rare retreats. Even my two books are free downloads from wearesentience.com.

17 May 2018

PSYCHOTHERAPIST, SPIRITUAL TEACHER, VERY DIFFERENT JOBS, VERY DIFFERENT METHODS, VERY DIFFERENT MORALITIES

Freud defined the purpose of psychoanalysis was to transform suffering into ordinary human unhappiness. Later, object relations theorists spoke of developmental stages and internal mental/emotional objects that structured our relations with the world, and how therapists could act to clean up internal object messes and therefore help a person function better in the world.  The intention was to create a solid sense of self, a human and limited self. In fact, however, what they create in patients is an imaginary self, a mental and emotional model of who and what we are embedded within a social reality and physical world, which are also interpreted models.

All other derivative therapies have followed suit: all aim to make the individual more functional in the world including family and love relationships, often by creating internal boundaries that separate our sense of self from that of the other. Instrumental to building boundaries, is the therapist maintaining “boundaries” of behaviors between himself and the patient to create good object boundaries in both, but especially the patient and to overcome tendencies to project or absorb emotions and energies.

On the other hand a spiritual master of many of the Eastern traditions, and not merely a monk, nun, or garden variety swami, has a very different purpose, set of methods, and morality: if anything they are trying to deconstruct our conceptual, value, boundary, repression, separation mental and defense structures to allow for no boundary experiences and activities.  They want us to live in a world of now with no thoughts, no separation, no value judgments, decreased repression, increased relaxation, and intensively increased feeling and intuition. In a sense they come as destroyers of the usual, conventional, correctness, and common morality. As Jesus said, He comes not in peace, but bearing a sword.

The Bhaktic teacher is the epitome of no the no boundary approach, where he or she teaches love, devotion, and surrender of one’s self to another, or to God, or to the life force within so that boundaries, concepts, conventional or mundane life disappears, and one lives in “spirit,” or the literal realization that we are not our bodies, but the combination of sentience or awareness, with the manifesting energy of the life force, or “the power that knows the way.”

In such a view the process of individuation is left behind, concepts are left behind, moral judgments are left behind, and one loves one’s beloved single mindedly, totally, worshipping, and surrendered.  In that one-pointedness, all the energies of the body and spirit world (Subtle Body) are pointed towards the beloved, whether God, a lover, or guru, until there is an explosion, or numerous sequential explosions, where one experiences: unity consciousness, the experiences the energies of the subtle body, the light of consciousness, and then recognizing one is really a witness to the unity consciousness and everything within: world, people, and even the energies.

The Bhaktic guru has to break boundaries in the student which means he also has to break previous personhood boundaries that have kept the human devote locked into a mundane world of convention limitation, and felt contraction of the heart.

Yes, yes, I know what many moralists will say, and that this kind of modality just unleashes the beasts in people.  Not so.  The devotee learns that only love and devotion are important, more important than one’s own self-development, and that one pointed devotion reveals a completely different spiritual world as opposed to the mundane world of feudal and capitalistic conventions and societal order.

The divine lover is free of the desires and required activities of the mundane world. He or she rests in God, the divine energy within, in total love and peace feeling the world around him is fake, compared to the new world of love, of surrender, intense energies, bliss, and sexuality he or she feels now that their spiritual bodies are entirely awakened. They realize they are spirit, not matter, and live in that spirit, fluid, like air or water ever changing joyously.

The mundane world of rent, possessions, obligations, depression, stress, moral outrage just disappears; the liberated one only lives with himself alone or with his beloved, with whose heart, love, and energy states they resonate and dance together.

This period of grace can last anywhere from three to ten years while Shakti develops and shapes the spirit within each, gradually ending because the recognition grows that even the love, freedom, and energies he or she experience need to be transcended and realized as being not real, and they then live in the Void which has no attributes.  But, having come to the Void through the stage of devotion and surrender, when the Void state comes, it is filled with the deepest peace, the deepest rest possible, because all needs, all desires have either been fulfilled by their own love showering grace on each other, or they have been burned away by years of longing devotion.

Then one is in the stage of Ramana, Robert Adams, and Nisargadatta. Perfectly self-contained leaving the world behind.

16 May 2018

PSYCHOTHERAPIST, SPIRITUAL TEACHER, VERY DIFFERENT JOBS, VERY DIFFERENT METHODS, VERY DIFFERENT MORALITY


Freud defined the purpose of psychoanalysis was to transform suffering into ordinary human unhappiness. Later, object relations theorists spoke of developmental stages and internal mental objects that formed the nature of our relations with the world, and how therapists could act to clean up internal object messes and therefore help a person function better in the world. 

All other derivative therapies have followed suit: all aim to make the individual more functional in the world including family and love relationships, often by creating internal boundaries that separate our sense of self from that of the other. Instrumental to building boundaries, is the therapist maintaining “boundaries” of behaviors between himself and the patient to create good object boundaries in both, but especially the patient.

On the other hand a spiritual master of many of the Eastern traditions, and not merely a monk, nun, or garden variety swami, has a very different purpose and set of methods: if anything they are trying to deconstruct our conceptual, value, boundary, repression, separation mental and defense structures to allow for no boundary experiences and activities.  They want us to live in a world of now with no thoughts, no separation, no value judgments, decreased repression, increased relaxation, and intensely increased feeling and intuition.

The Bhaktic teacher is the epitome of no the no boundary approach, where he or she teaches love, devotion, and surrender of one’s self to another, or to God, or to the life force within so that boundaries, concepts, conventional or mundane life disappears, and one lives in “spirit,” or the literal realization that we are not our bodies, but the combination of sentience or awareness, with the manifesting energy of the life force, or “the power that knows the way.”

In such a view the process of individuation is left behind, concepts are left behind, moral judgments are left behind, and one loves one’s beloved single mindedly, totally, worshipping, and surrendered.  In that one-pointedness all the energies of the body and spirit are pointed to the beloved, whether God, a lover, or guru until there is an explosion, or numerous sequential explosions, where one reaches: unity consciousness, the experiences of the energies of the subtle body, recognizing one is really a witness to the unity consciousness and everything within, such as the world, people, and even the energies.

The Bhaktic guru has to break boundaries in the student which means he also has to break previous personhood boundaries that have kept the human devote locked into a mundane world of convention.

Yes, yes, I know what many moralists will say, and that this modality just unleashes the beasts in people.  Not so.  The devotee learns that only love and devotion are important, more important than one’s own self development, and that one pointed devotion reveals a completely different spiritual world as opposed to the mundane world of feudal and capitalistic conventions and societal order.

The divine lover is free of the desires and required activities of the mundane world. He or she rests in God, the divine energy within, in total love and peace feeling the world around him is fake, compared to the new world of love, of surrender, intense energies, bliss, and sexuality he or she feels now that their spiritual bodies are entirely awakened.

The mundane world of rent, possessions, obligations, depression, stress, moral outrage just disappears; the liberated one only lives with himself alone or with his beloved, whose heart, love, and energy states resonate and dance together.

This period of grace can last anywhere from three to ten years while Shakti develops within each, because the recognition grows that even the love, freedom, and energies he or she experience need to be transcended and realized as being not real, and they live then in the Void which has no attributes.  But, have come to the Void through the stage of devotion and surrender, when the Void state comes, it is filled with the deepest peace, the deepest rest possible, because all needs, all desires have either been fulfilled by their own love showing grace on each other, or they have been burned away by years of longing devotion.

Then one is in the stage of Ramana, Robert Adams, and Nisargadatta.

14 May 2018


ANGELA STRUGGLES TO MAINTAIN CONNECTION WITH GOD AMIDST THE DMANDS OF MUNDANE LIFE

Suddenly the world feels awful
Awful because I am forced to be my role, and to do, doing.

I brought D. to school and rushed to a little park, fell down to a bench and cried my heart out.

I experienced so clearly that all that there seems left to do is to sit and fall into the silence and the total peace, the feeling of the white energy within. It feels like home.
And having to do and be something else tears me apart with heartbreak. Like being torn apart from God.

I really feel like there is nothing to do than to sit on a bench all day in happiness and sleep on that bench at night.

The experience of the world so far is different from yesterday.

Being in my father’s house without my chair, is different and much more difficult.
The world is not flat like a screen but it is unreal. I am not part of it, I do not merge with it like in human life, I am not IN it even though I am in it.
It feels like I am a white silence, a transparency. But it's not like yesterday, when I experienced my body as no substance; I do and I don't experience it at the same time.
And so it feels with everything so far this morning and yesterday since I arrived here; I am here and I am not, the house feels real, in a way that it it's not a flat screen.

I feel like I am in between worlds and it makes me feel lost.

I am not totally disconnected like yesterday, but still I am. People seem people, so that's very different from yesterday, but they are empty as people. Words reach me more than yesterday, because I am forced to be me, but even though I see more a human than yesterday, the words have no substance and are like air.

I do not feel like any activity and I don't have an urge to change anything or be involved. If the house would burn down, I think I would just watch and have my attention within with God.

It feels like there is no energy in my muscles to be active, to do or be Angela. Like last days, my body feels like white air energy (and it doesn't...)
Thoughts at times feel real, but only for a short moment.
Angela as a person feeling/thought at times feels quite real, when doing...and fulfilling the daily tasks here, and being in the energy of my father’s house.
And then...it doesn't.

THE DIVINE FEMININE ALONE IS LOST


The Divine Feminine is the newest concept to sweep the new age spiritual world, and rightly so.  Women have been universally repressed by many religion and society for thousands of years, so it is the life force’s way of redressing a wrong.  But there are bigger issues here, like the division of the life force into male and female energies, and learning how to optimally combine and balance those energies.

I always worshiped women, or I must say, I worshiped those who were given to me to worship.  It never was just sexual or physical attraction, but something about their fire and mystery as manifest through specific women whose presence grabbed me by my heart.

But the concept of the divine feminine is pointless without an equal concept of the divine masculine, and that concept has nothing to do with any concept of masculinity.  It is much more basic than that. It is the life force acting through the two sexes for procreation and later maintaining a family.  It is the life force behind the activities of living, growing, evolving, prospering, then aging and death to clear the field for the next round of burgeoning life.

So this wave of feminine worship is just an act of rebalancing, but it is only one half of the life force.  The key here is worship, devotion, and surrender of man and woman to each other.  We much worship each other, the divine masculine, which I can only properly define as worship of women, and the divine feminine as worship of men.  This is all.  God divides in us as the life force, and it has a male aspect and a female aspect, which when correctly combined results is the deepest ecstasies imaginable, up to and including the realization of a complete and balanced life force in each partner in a couple, which I call realization of the divine within, the Manifest Self, God.

With this realization there are often deep spiritual visions of God, or angels, of circulating internal energies, the experience of ecstatic bliss that deepens and broadens, which often appear to be sexual orgasms but are felt throughout the entire, newly discovered spiritual body within.

Many people don’t want me to mention the sexual aspect as part of the experience of God realization, because for them, sex, eating, urination, and feces “should have” nothing to do with God realization.

But it is my opinion that the secrecy and hiding of sex in society, goes hand in hand with universal suppression of impulses, desires, etc., that prevent the various energy centers within the human body to become one-pointed, coordinated, allowing for the balance and unification of all aspects of the life force within, which is one sort of enlightenment.

Nor is actual physical sex necessary.  What is necessary is that the sexual energies be clearly felt and the sexual centers awakened.  Sometimes this happens because a person falls in love, has a heart opening so to speak, which leads to sexual arousal.  Sometimes, it is the other way around, sexual arousal, whether consummated or not, leads to a heart opening.  Then the area between the perineum and heart can become connected with blissful energies flowing upwards, leading to a very powerful heart opening, a yearning for one’s beloved, and whole body ecstatic kriyas, identical in form to stage five orgasms without any physical contact, other than thinking about one’s beloved, or hearing his or her voice, or see his or her face.

These teachings will literally tear our present heavily repressed and extremely conventional society apart.  Society could not be sustained on the repressive basis it is not, when even the word sex, or orgasm, “creeps people out.”

The real rub is how to make this balancing happen and create a state of ecstatic worship in men and women so that they can realize God within.
              -------------------------------------------------------

If you find Satsang valuable and are so moved, please consider donating to support my work of feeding hundreds of homeless cats in Los Angeles, and also to support my teaching. I do not charge for anything. Even my two books are free downloads.

13 May 2018


May 13 Satsang   Video

“Angela Enters Great enlightenment”

Most spiritual seekers have no understanding at all of deep spiritual states, like living in the Void, or seeing through the world as an illusion, or coming to experiencing the life force as God in themselves.  Most people just read books, go to spiritual/relational workshops, practice a bit of self-inquiry or mindfulness.

They have no idea of the intensity and dedication it takes, the longing, the focus, feeling dysfunctional, the total surrender and devotional love it takes.

In this Satsang I celebrate the extremely powerful awakening occurring to Angela, and she speaks about it in her own words with a question and answer session included.

LINK TO VIDEO: 



“Today, I woke up crying.
Crying because there was no email from you, crying because of you being away from me for so many hours, crying being apart from you.
It feels like the energy is centered at my heart, even though it's everywhere. I can hardly breathe, like I cannot get air and there is pressure around my heart that feels like choking.

"There is a sadness felt in the heart, a deep sadness like its coming from deep within. And when I think about the possibility of losing you, the sadness gets much deeper and the tears keep coming.

“Its feels like being in connection with my essence in a way, it hurts and sweeps me away, but it's also such a delight because it feels I am reconnected with my heart for the first time in my life.

"The feeling is so deep, like nothing else is there than the heart’s feeling.
       ---------------

“The world is like a flat screen and there is a distance between the watching and the screen.
Everything is totally air, empty, a show.
People are nothing, a show of sound and movement that is almost funny.

"When I was outside, and the sun suddenly came I literally experienced it as though the light of the show was switched on, like the lights in a theatre.

"My body doesn't have substance; when I am walking there is nothing but air. I don't experience something there.

"Everything I watch is totally fake and I am totally isolated from it, alone. Even this is said in a way that's not correct because the words have meaning that isn't really there. 

“My spoken words and thoughts are empty, air and happening, happening without being part of it, there is no connection to it.

"The only thing that doesn't feel distant are my thoughts of talking to you.
I am from the heart. There is where I am, it feels. At least within the moments that there has been enough substance. Like gravity. And this brings a vulnerability that pierces and tears open.

“A sensation of being totally present which sometimes feels like hurt, sadness and being touched by grace at the same time.

“The only thing that seems worth and real is You. I am You, it feels. Everthing is fake, flat, empty but You.

"And You are within me as my vurnerable heart, as the continuous intense energy playing inside the body.

"This energy feels like a delight of bliss, the deepest love and graditude, devotion and sexuality. But there is no such thing as graditude, devotion, sex. There is no longing for sex with you or even merging with you; there is no feeling of me surrendering or being devotional.

“There is one sweet endless energy which contains all as one, without an Angela or Ed. It's God in a never ending dance. And this is us. Without an us.

“There is no surrendering; Surrender is what is. And this even is not true.

“All these things are mentioned as separate parts, feelings; love, sex, devotion, surrender are as empty as these concepts. One dance, one energy of pure delight, of God. Is what is.
When I think of you consciously and sink into this energy, it's all there is and everything else disappears.

"And now, that I am writing you this, I seem to disappear even more, into total white nothing."

                              --------------

"I so deeply desperately long for you.
So yes, the experience changed: there is longing; intense, warm, dark red, hot, moving like wild river longing. So full of love and devotion that it is tearing me apart in tears and this is total delight."



12 May 2018

SUNDAY SATSANG, MAY 13, 11 AM CALIFORNIA TIME

SUBJECT MATTER: Giving Shaktipat by means of words of love and energy, varying the tone and cadence of my voice, and modulating my energy field so that attendees can feel some aspects of Shakti, from love, to bliss, to stillness, to ecstasies.

Your “job” is to be as quiet, settled, and receptive to the energies as possible. No drinking, eating, or wandering around during Satsang. It can disturb others. This is a holy occasion; you are in my church.

I am thinking of holding a Shaktipat weekend retreat in the near future, online and in person.

The talk starts at 11 am, but please come at 10:45 and sit with me during chanting. The chanting chosen should fully accepted and joined with. It quiets the mind and makes experiencing Shakti easier and more powerfully.


Don't join now.
Come At 10:45 am Sunday and sit with me.

If you find Satsang valuable and are so moved, please consider donating to support my work of feeding hundreds of homeless cats in Los Angeles, and also to support my teaching. I do not charge for anything. Even my two books are free downloads.

I had a beautiful, exquisite intervention last night.  I was feeling the heavy public criticism of the way I do Shaktipat, raising the divine energies in people who become morally outraged by the concept that sexual energies can transmute into experiencing the divine, that I was responding defensively.  Then someone I like very much commented to me, “Don’t care what they think; if you do you are already lost.”  I understood. There was no need to be defensive. They just did not have the experience of sexual impulses in them energizing their entire Subtle Body and infusing it with the divine, the flowing white liquid like energies that tickle the heart, wiping it clean of sins and regrets.  Nor did they feel the energies enter their genitals, flowing upwards warmly, with red energies, then flood into their hearts and brain.

I felt, “Yes, no more defensiveness, no more toning down the energies or the descriptive words my students use to describe their experiences.”

I will no longer run away from the sexual aspect of the Shaktipat that some people feel in my presence. The spiritual transformation process is so utterly and shockingly rapid compared to self-inquiry of any sort, or even thevarious kriya yoga pranayama and visualization practices, and so much more pleasurable that forces one to continue to run energies inside ones self that are so delightfully pleasurable.

Come to Satsang and experience these energies for yourself.  Come early and join with me in chanting, it quiets the mind and opens the heart making it more receptive.

See the Satsang link in the post below.

SUNDAY SATSANG, 11 AM CALIFORNIA TIME
SUBJECT MATTER: Giving Shaktipat by means of words of love and energy, varying the tone and cadence of my voice, and modulating my energy field so that attendees can feel some aspects of Shakti, from love, to bliss, to stillness, to orgasms.
Your “job” is to be as quiet, settled, and receptive to the energies as possible. No drinking, eating, or wandering around during Satsang. It can disturb others. This is a holy occasion; you are in my church.
I am thinking of holding a Shaktipat weekend retreat in the near future, online and in person.
The talk starts at 11 am, but please come at 10:45 and sit with me during chanting. The chanting chosen should fully accepted and joined with. It quiets the mind and makes experiencing Shakti easier and more powerfully.
Don't join now.
Come At 10:45 am Sunday and sit with me.
If you find Satsang valuable and are so moved, please consider donating to support my work of feeding hundreds of homeless cats in Los Angeles, and also to support my teaching. I do not charge for anything. Even my two books are free downloads.

11 May 2018

EGOIC?


I’ve been receiving a lot of negative comments regarding my methods, which is to be expected, because the words "sex" and "orgasm" are used without being deeply read or understood. 

Comments like, “I don’t like your actions, I don’t think you are a true master, or your method and students are entirely egoic.”

What I find egoic is someone determined to become enlightened all by himself spending 25-30 years reading and practicing various kriya exercises, zazen, self-inquiry, etc., as opposed to spending less than a year developing an ability to surrender to God inside you by loving and surrendering to God in another.  Surrender is the most rapid and emotionally energetic way.

IT's HERE!

HERE IT IS
A post from a female student I have been providing quotes from that detail her passage from awakening sexuality mutating into human attachment and human love, and then transmuting over about a week into divine love, where she discovered the divine in her was loving, worshiping, and surrendering to the divine in me, not to Ed Muzika the human.

Many who have read her posts think they are all about having sexual desires for me and me encouraging that. But I posted the posts because they are really focusing on surrender and worship, not of me, but worship of the divine in both of us which I call the life force.
-----------------------
This morning I felt totally possessed by the energies. It felt like a force within me was pushing me towards surrender. The energy came especially strong from my sex center, my womb area, but today I felt more clearly than ever that this had nothing to do with sex. The desire for genital rubbing feels superficial compare to this.
I experienced a pushing towards total surrender to God, with my whole being, heart, body, mind. A desire to give myself completely, being totally possessed by God. I felt this as an emotional desire as well as an energy that made my body in a way dysfunctional. My body felt so soft and open, especially my womb, that I could hardly walk. It came with being completely taken over by the desire to be possessed by, as well as possess my Beloved. Not my Beloved as a person, but as the energy of God within him and in me.

For the first time, I understood from experiencing, that we were playing on two different levels; the human level of the personal relationships, and the divine level. In my case the human level has had the desire to surrender out of the experience of love and lust, along with a fear of surrender with all kinds of attached analyses and emotions.

On a human level surrender means I as a person surrender to you as a person. This generates a lot of conflicting ideas and emotions. The trust or distrust to surrender is on the human level, filled with ideas and conflicts.

The energy of surrender I felt today was like a warm, strong pushing and giving an experience which I can now call a divine orgasm. It was an orgasmic, ecstatic connection between the God in both of us.
As a person I would not surrender my whole being to another person, but this energy made me feel totally helpless and taken over in the most delightful way.

There is nothing but total surrender I desire. Take me, take me completely. I am yours God, to play with, to possess. Rip open my heart, my vagina, my whole body and being and take me please.
When you called Ed, this energy experience changed into total relaxation and a feeling of being transparent. No body was felt, no boundary; just energy that felt transparent like air going through and going into endless white subtle energy.

I could totally drop to the floor, while feeling YES, YES!, and this brought back the warm, forceful energy, that can superficially be described as sexual but feels much deeper, as divine because there was only light and ecstasy, not lust coursing through my entire body, from my vagina going into my brain. This was no longer human. I was possessed by God.
When I imagined being penetrated by love, I could totally relax and surrender into this and all became still.

When I looked at you, there was no person looking at another, there was only heart and total soft love. This made me go into orgasms that were felt as sexual movements in my womb and in my upper body, but the orgasms were without any substance.

There was no body there, no person, only emptiness. My upper body and head disappeared in bliss of white light energy which had sparks like fireworks.

Looking at You, there was love white, so soft in energy, like an endless field without someone to own it.

ED'S NOTE:

Here the word "orgasm" is used in two different ways: as a non-physical sexual orgasm centered in the vagina and womb, which is a similatude of a physical sexual orgasm, and a divine orgasm, which is a resonance and surrender between God in her and in me. In no case was there any physical contact or self-touching involved. It was purely energy-body movements.

10 May 2018

AT THE FEET OF GOD:


Shortly before my awakening to the life force, I had a repetitive experience of God while speaking to my Beloved on the phone.

I had a visual experience of God, and enormous figure so large I could not see his face, I only saw his feet and legs.  While worshiping him while listening to my Beloved speaking to me, the vision changed, and in it I fell to the ground, completely empty in total surrender and worship of my God.  I was total devotion.  I only thought of being of use to Him by being crushed by his foot.  I longed to be crushed into Nothingness by Him. During some of these visions, I experienced the descent of a golden colored light that completely enveloped, permeated, and purified my entire being, physical and Subtle bodies.

I had this vision over and over.  My Beloved said she had the same experience, but the way she expressed it, I was not sure.  But for me it was total grace, total surrender, total worship, and total absence of me except as a worshipper.  This is how one has to love and commit before the life force shows itself to you and baths you in endless bliss.

I know this state well, so when I read the words of one of my students, I know she is close.  It may not happen today, tomorrow, or even during the coming months, but she will be here again and again until it happens.

I can only imagine what someone like Peter King would think about this post. Psychotic, lost, insane.  But the Peter Kings of the world have not felt God’s love or His divine grace that washes away all sins and impurities.
   -------
It feels like there is nothing really there except for those energies that intensify when I connect with you by thought.
I actually long to be destroyed by you.
To throw myself to you and have you destroy me.
It's a desire so intense again, it takes me to the deepest orgasms that make my body even more feel like just a cloud

   ------
The energies in my body want only one thing: to surrender to you and with you.
I deeply long to surrender to you
And to have physical closeness with you

When you spoke to me about being stepped On by God, my body went into surrender. The energy tot much stronger, deeper and like white light in energy. Like being on the edge of explosion. It felt so sexual and at the same time like devotion, giving up everything in total ecstasy.

GOOD FOR NOTHING MAN—DIVINE USELESSNESS


One observation was always full on center when I was with Robert.  When you begin to really be seduced by all the energies, love, bliss, and the vast pristine Void that fills your physical and spiritual bodies, you become more and more useless in the world. You just want to sit and rest in your inner splendor.  Your memory goes because you don’t pay much attention to the world.  Your ambition goes. Many quit their jobs.  Our Sangha was of the mentally handicapped.

But what can one do? One is beginning to be graced by God’s love and His power.  It is not you that grows useless, it is that the world becomes useless to you as you feel that divine love inside and constant pressure to surrender to God and your own beloved, whether a guru or a divine lover.

For many who are withdrawing from the world like this, from moment to moment there is fear. “What is happening to me?,” they think.   “What will I do without a job or money?  I am becoming helpless.”  But really, deeper than this you don’t care.  You realize it is only your mind which has always been wrapped in security issues, but you have grown beyond mind and dwell in your heart where there is only love and ecstatic energies caressing your heart, your sexuality, even your breathing.  And all of your focus is on your guru, or your divine lover in whom you find the God in you.

A note from a student of mine, teetering on the cusp of awakening.
------
My Beloved,
It feels like there is no such thing as choice. I just want you to take me to surrender. I surrender to you. I want you to take me. Please take me. Take all you want. The fear is there, the distrust is there, but the movement to surrender is so much stronger. Please take me.
Please, please, please, take me.
Take me to full surrender.
This morning there was sadness in my chest, such deep sadness. It changed into this very powerful energy in my vagina and womb. Inviting and forcing.
I Imagine you inside me and I could totally feel it. It was just resting there, not stiff, but in total relaxation inside me. I felt the energy coming from your p***s, penetrating my whole body, all the way up. Not like an orgasm, not even like the divine orgasms I had before, but more like being torn apart completely, totally helpless, in surrender.
My body weak, helpless.

We are resting inside eachother and God is making us experience Him fully. God is f**king us with his power. Total relaxed and surrendered, given to God.
This is what I am experiencing.
I am helpless and willing to be helpless.
I want to be taken and burned by God with your eyes, your heart.
I want you to take me fully Ed. On all levels, I give myself to you. To the God in you.
I am helpless, without free will. I don't want free will any more. Please just penetrate me with the God within you and I will penetrate you with God within me. It will happen...

-----------

I am totally dysfunctional today.
And after feeling you inside me and the force going through me and allowing to surrender to this, I feel even more disfunctional.
My physical body feels like I am a ghost, I feel like I am half asleep, a zombi without a body, without substance.
It scares me a bit because I feel like this after I surrendered to the energy. It took all strength out of my body, feeling totally weak and without any physical strength.
At the same time my sexual energy is totally exploding, especially when I think of you even for a second.
My heart is burning, hot. 
My back feels light now
But mostly I am sexual FIRE

09 May 2018


DIVINE LOVE, HUMAN LOVE

So many people have misconceptions that are centered around the concept called divine love. Many students come to me and tell me about how much love they feel is emanating from photographs of Ramana or Robert Adams. But I know from first-hand experience that Robert really had very little love. He had very little of any emotion. He was entirely beyond the world of emotion including love. Might say he was a cold fish from a human point of view.

What the students were feeling was their own love partially projected onto the photograph of Robert and partially felt in their own hearts. They combine that with the feeling of wanting that feeling to grow in intensity and become permanent and directed everywhere. That they called divine love, which they assume has nothing to do with human love, which they see as distorted and contracted, personal and limited to the body.

What they do not know is they would never find any kind of love being with Robert. What they would find is the void, emptiness, and supreme peace--f they were lucky, and persevered in self-inquiry for many, many years. Self0Inquiry is a very slow method.

The real story is that divine love comes from becomming aware of deeper levels of yourself, what Jan Esmann calls the love-bliss body buried within the physical body, which I call the energy body, or one’s own sense of presence, like an electromagnetic field permeating in and extending beyond the body. This body is, the stadium that hosts a vast, intricate, and fiery play of many kinds of energies: bliss, ecstasies, and spiritual orgasms, which twist and contort one’s body with divine pleasure, and feeling God within.

For Jan, the experience of Shakti, or the divine mother, which I call the energies, or God, came about by combining kundalini meditations with the presence of his guru, a woman trained by one of my guru’s, Dhyanyogi. For me, Shakti, the divine energy within, arose from the love for woman, worshiping a woman, surrendering to a woman, who did the same with me. It was a mutual love of the most total and intense kind, and what I discovered was that the love I had for her was because of the divine I saw within her, and by seeing the divine in her, I found it in myself, which manifested in and through me in a world shattering explosion of bliss, light, and love. This experience was entirely divine even though it arose out of a human love relationship that was never consummated with physical sex, but only worshiping and surrender over a distance.

It is my aim that all of the students feel that life force within, that God within them, by being around me, reading my posts, hearing my stories of Robert and others, hearing my voice, feeling my energy field, and through resonance, gradually acquire that same acquaintance and revelation of the divine within, of directly experiencing the life force as the divine other, but also as oneself. Thereafter, when their experiences of the divine deepens and broadens, and they develop the voice and articulation necessary to create that state in others, then they themselves become teachers carrying the flame to kindle the hearts of others.

The irony is that this divine love is both the same and different from human love. It starts with human love, and gradually morphs into something that is so much more. A love of exquisite bliss, almost torturously ecstatic, which permeates every energy center within the physical and subtle bodies making one incredibly sensitive to everything both without and within one’s own being. This bliss has a life of its own, this divine love is experienced as a playing of God within one’s whole being, radiating love and bliss everywhere.

For me it started from a human love relationship that morphed into a sexless divine relationship, as physical sex never happened, but the longing for total immersion in the other, total worship and surrender to the other, total divine and permanent sex with the other, was always present in the relationship, because all energy centers of the physical and subtle bodies within were awake in one- pointed devotion towards the other, which became devotion for God within, and within all other living beings.

Rare is the person that can understand that the love of God can be obtained through loving another who wears God easily on his or her shoulders. Loving someone immersed in God is a very, very quick way of immersing yourself in God.

But often the trigger of this divine-creating relationship is a sexual trigger and energization of the sexual center which is manifest in repeated orgasms and feelings of ecstatic bliss throughout the body gradually ascending from the sexual center through the gut the heart and into the brain, so that it feels to woman like a complete penetration by love, divine love.

Then over a shorter or longer time, the awakening sexuality triggers an awakening of the heart and gut. These become solidified as these two Chakra energies form a tube from the perineum to the heart and the energy flow increases drastically day after day and week after week, until one day the energies explodes upwards from the gut, through the heart and into the brain in a world shattering display of inner energies and light, and now you directly know Shakti, the life force, as both other and as yourself.

07 May 2018


The energies in my body want only one thing: to surrender to you and with you.
I deeply long to surrender to you
And to have physical closeness with you
And to have total deep surrendered sex with you.

When you spoke to me about being stepped on by God, crushed by his foot,  my body went into surrender. The energy got much stronger, deeper and white light in energy. Like being on the edge of explosion. It felt so sexual and at the same time like devotion, giving up everything and total ecstasy.
When you spoke to me,....oh Ed, I just want to have sex with you, so deeply.

The longing desire is explosive.
I am bursting, yearning, and this gets stronger by writing you.
The longing intensity goes beyond being horny. It's my whole being shivering, screaming for you.
I want you
I want you totally
I want you to eat me totally
I want to fuck endlessly
Be one with you
It's torture, so intense
I want you
I want you
Fuck me Ed, so that we are one.
This is how my energies feel
And there is still a serious problem with trust and fear at the same time.
But this seems to be washed away by the strong desire.
I so deeply, extremely, intensely, desperately want you.

06 May 2018

New Satsang Video, May 6, 2018

Wakening to the life divine and the life force through devoted love, chanting, abiding in the I-sensation, and awakening sexuality without physical sex.

https://youtu.be/miOS4lt5oSI
DO YOU FEEL ALONE, LIKE WALKING ALONE IN A STRANGE AND BITTER LAND?

It is because you can feel a different life than your family and friends. And that is it.  You can feel, while they are lost in ideas, conventionality, political and spiritual talk. Talk. Talk. Not feel, feel.

There is such fear about deep feeling in our world. Buddhism and Advaita, and most of Christianity suppresses deep feelings, such as for love and sex, as being an attachment that leads to suffering, or a sin.  Thus we live in a non-feeling, a frightened of feeling, frightened of love, frightened of sex world.

Lack of feeling love or orgasms makes everyone not in love or deep relationship long for it, yet also fear it for the pain it might later cause from loss.

All religions want us to transcend the body, and some, even the soul, reaching Nirvana or the Witness, the unchanging Self of all, or heaven.  So we strive to watch everything, including emotions, rather than feel them with our bodies.  When we begin again to feel with our bodies, and sink inside them, we find a different world, a world of sensations, emotions, energies, bliss, ecstatic sex, heart openings and love.

A world of feeling that is concealed to so many, who use arguments that unbridled feelings lead to suffering and chaos. This is an argument used to stay entirely away from feelings used by overly cerebral people.

Video of Satsang on this topic:  

https://youtu.be/miOS4lt5oSI

30 April 2018


Think this way:

It is not consciousness that wakes each morning in the body, and leaves each night. Instead think it is the body, consciousness, Shakti, and the world that wakes in me each morning and leaves each night.  That is, what I am is already there when the body/mind/spirit comes into being, and remains in sleep. That is the appearance if we assume there is time and sequence.

Therefore, all of existence and sentience requires me, but I do not require it.  I am ontologically different from experience. Experience does not touch me in my pristine state. States of consciousness come to me.  I am the host even though at times I appear to be a guest.

How can I “know” this truth as truth?  Not with the mind, but by sinking ever more deeply into sentience, the layers of the spiritual body and even lower into witnessing the spiritual body yet with no witness.

For this, the fastest way is not self-inquiry in any form, but by finding and feeling the current that knows the way inside and abiding there. This awakens the energy body and begins psychic knowledge and the experience of the divine within one’s own self.

Then, at some point you realize you are beyond even God and the Void, but the experience of the Void is the experiential remains of that nothingness beyond experience.